Past Messages
21st July
Buongiorno,
I am constantly surprised by how much we grow together. Some of our chats and conversations are around things that couples are too scared to speak about, or take years to find the courage to discuss. There really aren’t any major topics that we haven’t already spoken about and agreed on, and the amazing thing is that we have the same view on things and it seems that we have the same expectations of each other too.
When I say that there is nothing that could scare me off, I really mean that. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you being so open with me about your past and what I need to know about you. We are both coming out of a relationship where we had to tiptoe around the other person’s feelings, and evidently that ends in failure. I know that there are parts about you that you look back on and regret, because I do, but I honestly wouldn’t change any of it because it has turned us both into this person that the other one is obsessed with.
I promise to be open and honest with you, always. I will tell you the good and the bad, and I trust that you will be there for me throughout it all. I hope that you feel the same way and we can build the strongest and most secure relationship that we could dream of.
Have the best Monday. Ti amo tantissimo x
20th July
I didn’t think that this was possible, but yesterday made me fall in love with you even more. I already knew that you are unapologetically you, but hearing Meghan describe you in the same way that I have received you provides me with so much security.
I know that I asked Meghan things that could be perceived as being downsides to your character, but I really don’t see it that way. Things like how stubborn you are and how you control situations are such amazing qualities to have, because they provide consistency. And consistency is what I have been missing. I hate not knowing where I stand or not knowing what is expected of me, and with you I feel like I know you well enough to understand what you need and want.
I also feel like I get a softer side to you than your friends and family. I feel like you speak to me slightly differently to how you speak to your friends and you allow a loving, sensitive side to shine through with me. And I love that. It makes me feel so special and like I am giving you something that you need. You get the same side of me, and I never ever want that to change. You have me in a way that nobody else ever will.
You will be in my arms in just two weeks time. Let’s make these next two weeks so disgustingly romantic and full of love.
Ti amo tantissimo. Sempre x
19th July
Hello beautiful.
I hope that you get to read this today in such a good mood whilst hosting Meghan and having some down time with one of your closest friends. These past two months have been so much for anyone to take and honestly at times must have made you lose hope that you’d feel yourself again and be able to have fun. I sincerely hope that spending time with Meghan has helped you regain that joy at least for a short period of time, right before Milan and Boston should bring even more fun for you.
This site was created with the purpose of me sharing my love and fondest memories of you, and honestly we need to create more memories for me to share. So let me take on that repsonsbility for Milan, then what I need you to do is start creating a list of “things Luke and I will do” when I come to US. Since the plan is for me to be there for 6+ weeks, we will have plenty of time to experience new things together, either alone or with Collins. Even places or experiences that you wouldn’t expect me to enjoy, run them past me or go ahead and plan them, and I will be more than happy to give it all a try. Because all I want to do is spend time with you, and become closer and closer.
Have an amazing day today. Drink some wine and tell Meghan all about me ;)
Ti amo tantissimo. x
18th July
Ciao amore.
We can get through this. We just need to get to Milan after almost three long, difficult months. It is natural that we struggle from time to time but I really can’t see my life without you. Please allow us to work on things and, most importantly, let’s focus on not letting small things affect our wider objective of being happy together.
I know that I need to improve on how I handle things though, Christine. I know I’m not perfect, and I also know that you don’t expect perfect. I just want us to start getting used to each other more and we can get past things like this. And that will happen over time. Let’s try.
I am happy that you have your friend visiting. Use it as some time to focus on something other than the negative sides of your life at the moment. Have fun, drink wine and enjoy yourself.
I love you so so so so much. Always. Without question.
17th July
Ciao amore.
I never fail to be impressed by how strong you are. You handled yesterday so well after a sad start to the week, and used the time alone to be productive and take care of yourself. You are the stability that Collins needs to grow up around, so keep being you and showing everyone how strong you are. Also…this is exactly the sort of character I need in a woman and you prove this day by day. Truly incredible.
I am travelling all day and will be calling you at every possible moment. I miss you so much between calls and can’t wait for this long distance thing to end. You are mine forever and I am fed up of not being able to show you this more. But despite this, I never question my desire and drive to be with you.
I love you more than I can even explain. Enjoy a quiet day today and keep me on your mind.
A dopo x
16th July
Ciao amore.
Today will be a hard day for you, I am sure. And I can completely understand why. But the good thing is you will be even more appreciative when you get to see your girl’s smile again, and the time should go by so quickly. She’ll miss her mum lots and lots and you can get prepared to see her and spoil her when she gets back.
I am here for you over the next few days, the next week and every moment after that. I can’t take the pain of these situations away, but I will try to be the man that you need me to be, in order to feel loved, heard and supported.
I love you ridiculous amounts. You are so so strong and never forget that.
A dopo x
15th July
I am not sure if you will read this today, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about you, caring for you and loving you. I really want to be your outlet and your relief from the stress and pain, and wish that my own feelings didn’t affect that like yesterday or previous days. You call me your rock, but your rock would be the stability that you need through everything…and although I am always here and stable in my commitment to you, I apologise for not being able to counteract your stress at all times.
What you are going through and the feelings that you are having are bigger than “us”. The effects of this decision impact so much more than just me, and I truly recognise that. Your life is changing and it must feel strange because you are making the decision that is right for you, but you must feel like your life is temporarily getting worse in relation to living alone and seeing Collins less etc. It must be so fucking hard. But sometimes things get worse before they get better, and you wouldn’t get to this stage if you hadn’t deeply considered what is best for everyone in your life and not just you.
All that I can do is be here for you at every waking moment and do whatever you need from me - speak, listen, solve, or anything else. I will do that for you without question. Because I love you. And truly believe that we are soulmates and our future needs to be spent together.
The feelings of inadequacy that you are having with me are temporary. I feel it too. It’s just a fear of losing each other and it stems from the fact that we realise that we have finally met our person. If only you could see yourself through my eyes or spend even an hour in my shoes, you’d feel so secure. I am crazy about you. I am madly in love with you. I am obsessed with you. And I accept and love every single small and large detail about you Christine.
You are not going to lose me. Ever. Even if you turned around and decided that you didn’t want to speak to me until 2026, I’d prepare to call you at 00.01 on January 1st. With as much love and appreciation for you as ever. Tell me what you need from me, whether that is space or attention or anything in between, and I’ll do it for you in a heartbeat.
I could not love you any more than I do. Sorry for all of this, and I hope that you can make yourself feel a little bit better each day. You are everything.
14th July
Good morning amore.
I enjoyed our discussion about what I am looking forward to most about having kids yesterday. It is actually really difficult to name just one or two things that I am most excited about because I am genuinely looking forward to all of it.
I know that we sometimes avoid speaking about kids in fear of us not being able to have children but honestly I don’t think we should think that way. I am so all in with you that even if that does happen I’d want to explore alternatives and, if nothing else works, you have your beautiful daughter already that we can spoil. As soon as we can start trying for a baby we will, and I’d say we have a pretty good chance with how often we plan to “try”…
I am so excited to be a part of your life and create the best environment for kids and for us. It keeps me going throughout all of this, and I am 100% certain that you are the woman I want to marry and be a parent beside.
Have a nice day! I love you.
13th July
Good morning amore.
I am done with waking up in a hotel or Airbnb bed, or in a single bed or sofa, and not having you next to me. Even though we have only spent three nights next to each other, I know from those three nights that it is exactly what I want to happen forever.
I can’t wait to open my eyes and immediately wrap my arms around you, whether you are awake or still asleep. Or run my hands through your hair, or stroke your arm or your face. And as soon as you wake up I will give you your first kiss of the day. I want you to instantly feel loved, secure and happy when you wake up and start your day. No matter how busy our day is or what we have to do, we can always spend those first couple of minutes connecting through physical touch.
We will be doing that in just three weeks in Milan. Three weeks. It is so, so soon. And whatever these next three weeks through at you, think about that moment of waking up and me being there for you to give you all of the love in the world.
Have a nice day amore. I love you.
12th July
Good morning amore.
I am quite sad today because it is Saturday again and I am not spending it with you. Weekends will be our chance to spend all of our time together, especially with me working UK hours from Texas Monday-Friday. After a long week of work and being busy, it will be our day to connect.
Depending on how stressful the week has been and how tired we are, we can either relax together or get out and do an activity/bar hop. Knowing how active we both are, I am sure that it will almost always be the second option though…I can’t quite remember which day you will have Collins on the weekend, but if it is Saturday then that also gives us the chance to do fun things with her like you did last night. It will be a cute family day, which will be so rewarding after all of this year that we have had to go through to be together.
I can’t wait to get some fun back into our lives, and honestly it will be like nothing either of us have experienced before. I’m used to spending weekends with someone that I don’t truly connect with. It’s going to be so special with you.
Have a lovely day. Never stop believing in us. I love you so much.
11th July
I love that we have gotten to the point where we feel more comfortable seeing each other when we aren’t at our best. I know that you always think I look the same but I definitely have good and bad days and you accept me all the same. And our Facetime yesterday was one of my favourites. I preferred it to when you’re all dressed up and looking your best because it was so real and like normal life. You were dealing with a sick kid and a hectic lifestyle, and I promise you that this side of your life is what I love you for.
I don’t expect every day to be glamourous. I am fully on board with the mess and chaos that having a child brings. Although I am not used to dealing with it, I’m so ready to learn and am genuinely excited to be able to take care of your daughter like that, and hopefully a few extra kids in the future too.
You are so beautiful inside and out, always. You are everything in my eyes. Truly the complete package. I love and miss you so much, amore.
10th July
Buongiorno amore.
I have the QBR in exactly 7 minutes time so please excuse the short and sweet message today. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you sharing your life with me, through the good and the bad. Life is never going to be easy and it feels tougher now more than ever, but you have me throughout any possible moment and, most importantly, you never need to feel like you shouldn’t share how you really feel with me.
Take things day by day. No matter what your current situation throws at you, keep the end goal in mind of us being together and supporting each other till the very end.
I love you so much. Today, tomorrow and every day to come.
9th July
Buongiorno amore.
And we’re back…
After those bad few days, it amazes me that I still always have so much that I can say about you. We said that we are with each other through the highs and the lows, and it’s difficult to imagine how much lower we could ever get. I know that everything doesn’t heal straightaway, and we can’t just instantly go back to the same sort of high as New York, but we can only work at it together and support each other through it all.
Milan is just 3 and a half weeks away. We will have 3 days fully consumed in each other’s presence and touch, with almost no distraction or pressure from the outside world. I can’t wait to stroke your face and your arm. Cuddle you both tightly and also softly at night. Kiss you all over. Whisper into your ear and tell you that everything is going to be okay. I think about it so so often and remind myself that moments like that are what stay with us when times get low.
And then we have a month in August where I will be alone and available so much to chat and plan our future together. I’ll book my flight for October (if I haven’t done so already), and will continue planning other aspects of the move. Then we are so fucking close to the finish line. I will have my divorce to deal with, sure, but I can get through all of that with your undivided support and advice.
We have got this. It is worth all of the stress, anxiety and worry. You are my person and I’d do it 1000000x over if it meant I end my life next to you, Christine.
I love you so much. Today, tomorrow and every day to come.
6th-8th July
These were a few tough days for both you and I. I was distracted and caught up in the pressure and emotions that the whole world was causing. I didn’t make the time or commitment to update this, and for that I am truly sorry. I never stopped loving you, caring for you or longing for you. You remained my rock throughout it. I’ll be better.
5th July
Buongiorno amore.
I hope that you realise my frustration last night wasn’t caused by you. It was because I know that you react to the situation that you are in, and if you are caused to feel insecure or embarrassed because of me then that really gets to me. I want to be able to give you everything that you need, all of the time. You also said about me not being proud to show you off, and it is so so so untrue, I promise. You will see how that isn’t the case when the time is right - which is so soon.
We have had such a fantastic week with neither of us being surrounded by the life that we are leaving. I know that me going home tonight will be just as tough for you to handle as it is for me when you go home tomorrow, but we should stop looking at it as we are going “home” or back to another person. We are just counting down the days and making the necessary steps to being together. And although you are steps ahead of me in regards to leaving your life, it will be so much quicker for me to transition out of my life. And I will be speaking to her about this today.
These next few months are a tiny fraction of the life that we will spend together. You are honestly doing an amazing job on a daily basis to accept my love and commitments and keep believing in our relationship. I couldn’t ask for anything else from you and I promise you will feel so much more secure and content soon.
I love you so much. Today, tomorrow and every day to come.
4th July
Happy 4th July my love. I know you usually spend it in Florida surrounded by more friends and family, but I’m sure you’ll have plenty of more busy celebrations in the years to come.
I’m so grateful that you show constant excitement towards including me in these kind of holidays. The fact that you are proud to tell people about me and will be proud to introduce me to people makes me feel so good about myself. It honestly builds my confidence so much…not that my confidence was low before, but I’m even more so now that I get to call you mine. I am so excited to do the same, because you are such a lovable and caring person which is evident even after the first conversation with you. I know that you’ll show genuine interest in my family and show enthusiasm towards seeing them and spending time with them. That is honestly something that I have never had and it shows me again that I have finally found my person.
I am really looking forward to our Christmases, Thanksgivings, Halloweens etc. together. The fact that Collins is there too will actually make me enjoy these holidays more, to see the joy and excitement on her face. And the future kids that we have together.
I hope that you have an awesome day celebrating 4th July for the final time before you’re surrounded by a Brit :)
I love you so much.
3rd July
There is no way that I can beat yesterday’s post, but I know you check this daily and like seeing an update, so here you go…
I am still so happy from our date yesterday. I would usually roll my eyes if someone told me they had a date over Facetime, thinking that it could never be enjoyable or that it would be awkward. But yesterday I was thinking about it all day and really wanted to put in effort and make it special for you, because everything seems different with you. I have never been so infatuated or so willing to try new things for someone, and I hope that you can recognise this every day when you speak with me.
Even though we shouldn’t need to spend too much time apart, we will be doing long distance from time to time so need to keep up with the online dates. We already agreed that we need to have a date on a weekly basis moving forward, so let’s continue that even when we aren’t physically together. We could even do something more lowkey than yesterday, like watch the same movie together (Netflix Party, I think it’s called), or find another game to play online. Or even just get naked like yesterday - fully naked this time for me too with better lighting…
Nothing will ever come close to how enjoyable our time together is physically, but we demonstrated that distance won’t stop us from growing closer. Thank you for making the effort that you do every minute or every day. You make me feel so desired, and I hope you feel the same way.
I love you so much.
1st July
Ciao bella,
I am so encouraged by our mature and open conversations, like we had yesterday. I have never been able to fully relax or feel at ease in a relationship before, through fear of giving the wrong impression or making myself look bad. In the past I have avoided difficult conversations or have hidden truths about me to protect my own feelings or the other person’s, but I really have transformed that for you.
On a daily basis you make me feel so loved and accepted. You are so, so emotionally intelligent…nothing like I’ve experienced before. You know what you want and don’t want, need and don’t need, and like and don’t like. And you’re not afraid to express this or make it clear to me. This works so well for me as I am driven by guidelines and clarity of situations, and it just so happens that I feel the same way about accepting and loving every aspect of your life and how you are.
Our relationship is truly beyond my expectations. I never thought I’d feel so close to someone like I do with you. Thank you so much for your love and commitment to building this together.
Ti amo, Christine.
30th June
Hi beautiful.
This has been the longest weekend ever for me. It was filled with uncomfortable conversations and no joy, and everything would be extremely dark and hopeless if I didn’t have you. You are the light at the end of this whole tunnel for me and I know that I have been here to provide you with the same support over the past months too. Thank you so much for everything that you do.
Going through all of this reinforces how important it will be for us to constantly work to show up for each other. Even though this is the hardest part, we’re not naive enough to think that there won’t be other difficult moments. When we are long distance and we are both travelling for work or to see friends and family, it may be easy for us to lose sight of the other person’s fidelity and commitment. The visa process might be lengthy and it may cause some strain on things if we can’t be together as often as we want. Or there may be other things that come up which seem difficult to navigate.
What is important to remember is that you are making me a better person day by day. I vow to work at becoming the best version of myself which, in turn, will allow me to constantly be there for you and give you everything that you want in life. I also vow to be there for your family (especially Collins), and our future kids. There will always be hard times, but I promise that I will always be there for you and want to be the man that you need every day. You really are my everything.
Ti amo, Christine.
29th June
Hi beautiful.
Yesterday we spoke about new experiences. We both realise how much we will expose the other to new things, and it adds the best aspect to our relationship. If I were American and was born and raised in Dallas then met you there, I’m not sure that we’d be together. I’d love to think that you’d still see me somewhere and you’d fall in love with me, but I think that in reality there is so much of our connection that comes from our differences. And I love it.
The festival plan is very exciting. I have never thought of festivals as much fun, but yesterday I was watching a clip from Glastonbury this weekend and saw a couple dancing together and I need that to happen for us too. The World Cup will be awesome too and will be a chance for you to love my favourite sport with me. I also have always wanted to be super fancy and go to the theatre for a big show - get dressed up formal clothes (with you in a stunning dress), go for a fancy dinner and drinks before, then head back to a hotel room and finish our night off there.
I’ll have plenty of alone time this week to think of some more ideas, so I’ll let you know. I often feel like I have been given a second shot at life after meeting you. I can’t wait to share every second as your love.
Ti amo, Christine.
28th June
Hi beautiful.
I know that you are travelling today and taking care of Collins all by yourself, which must be difficult but if anyone can do it you can. We also spoke quite a lot about kids yesterday (plus your baby fever after getting to hold the cutest newborn). Even though you have a major head start when it comes to raising children, I hope that you realise how much of a life objective it is for me to raise children.
I see being a parent as the most important job in the world. Over the past few years I have matured a lot in this aspect of life because I never thought I’d want kids before, and I never thought that my lifestyle would match up with having kids. But there are moments when I’m out in public and see parents with 3+ kids who are all behaving well, having a nice time and existing as a wholesome family, and it makes me so excited to have that for myself too. Being able to raise kids who all have their own personalities, goals, preferences and quirks seems like the most fulfilling life, and I think about it a lot.
It’s important that we don’t put pressure on having children because it’s a really good way for couples to resent each other if it doesn’t go to plan. As we have discussed before, you are so lucky that you already have an incredible daughter, so I’m very happy that we can avoid being stressed about having kids as soon as possible. I am looking forward to having fun and being so close together while we try for children. There is truly nothing else in life that I want more, and I couldn’t ask for a better person to do this with.
Ti amo, Christine.
27th June
“I think that yesterday was perhaps one of the best days that I have had whilst being with you.”
The fact that this is how I opened up yesterday’s post and we then went on to have one of the hardest days that we have had just highlights how much of a rollercoaster our journey is. There really are so many impacting elements to this. So many decisions to make. So many crucial moves to make. It is completely understandable that all of this gets overwhelming regularly for us both and it all seems like too much to handle.
But…
Our genuine love for each other will prevail. The life that we envision for ourselves together will keep us going. And the way that we feel about each other is worth this rollercoaster that we are on, because nothing in life gets better than this true connection that we have. You have my unconditional commitment that I will follow through with everything to be by your side at the end. I promise. You are everything to me. It breaks my heart that you feel low and sad because all I want is to see you smile, laugh and be happy. I’d do anything for you.
I’ll end this with a quote that you may recognise…”This year is going to be hard. We both know that. But I’d take one hard year with you if it means I get 50+ great ones. I will keep choosing you, no matter where life takes us. Everyday, over and over again. It’s you. You are my person!”
I love you so fucking much.
26th June
I think that yesterday was perhaps one of the best days that I have had whilst being with you. With the exception of the days that we were physically together, we had the opportunity to see each other on Facetime and, most importantly, have mature and adult conversations that brought us closer.
I adore that you said you’re feeling how loving I am. I haven’t been able to see my own evolution, but the fact that you can tell how insanely in love with you and how committed I am to you is so important. I promise that my objective in life is to be the best boyfriend/partner/man/husband (pick one) to you that I possibly can be. You motivate me to improve myself physically and emotionally, and I already feel like a better person by being with you. I feel like I know you much better after yesterday too. I know more about what you do and don’t like, and also about how you will act with me in times of vulnerability. It’s amazing that we have this opportunity to grow even more in love with each other and become used to life together.
You should know that you can always ask me anything. I want you to feel closer to me than anyone else on Earth. I want you to see me as an extension of yourself. and I want to grow old in each other’s presence.
I’m so excited for Milan and what comes after that. You are my complete world. I love you so much.
25th June
I am looking forward to the weddings that we need to attend next year. Hopefully I can plan properly and attend Ashleigh’s in January, but if not it sounds like we will still have four or five others to attend between us both.
I have always found attending weddings to be super emotional. It’s one of the very few times that I cry, even as a guest. I cry at happy things like that rather than sad things. The overwhelming joy and love usually gets my emotional side out, so be prepared for that.
I can’t wait to see you in your wedding guest outfits. You always dress so well but wedding outfits are always extra special. I’ll be sure to look my best to at least come close to your level of attractiveness.
Love you
24th June
Hi beautiful,
I hope that you realise that I’m genuinely looking forward to living in Dallas. I know that I am leaving Como and I’d be lying if I said that there won’t be things that I’ll miss about here, but I’m sure there will be a lot which is quite well suited to me.
You have already done the huge task of finding a great home for us, so thank you! And I know that by the time I get there you’ll have turned it into a proper home which we can live in for the next short while. I’m fairly easy to please when it comes to living somewhere. I need good weather (check), I need access to a gym (check), I need outside space to walk and get fresh air (check), and I need cool bars and restaurants fairly nearby to fill my weekend with (check). It seems that Dallas has all of that and more, and I am excited to experience it all with you.
Initially I’ll be just visiting before a visa etc is sorted so we will make sure to fill our time and make the most of our new home. Thankfully you have met someone who is outgoing and doesn’t like to be bored, and if New York is anything to go by then we’ll have the best time. Even though some Friday evenings I want to just chill after a long week at work, I am never one to turn down plans or cancel arrangements out of laziness of procrastination. I’ll be by your side throughout everything that you invite me to.
Your place in Dallas will be my first home in the US so will always hold a fond memory for me, I’m sure. I cannot wait to experience it with you, Christine. Thank you, and I love you so much.
23rd June
We have a once in a lifetime relationship, Christine, and yesterday reinforced that for me. After such a difficult weekend for both of us, it’s so normal that we are upset or worried about certain things, and we’re always going to have times where we disagree or argue. But it’s how we handle ourselves and the other person’s emotions in those times that makes us special.
There are a few things that I appreciate so much about our approach to disagreements. The first one is listening. As we know I sometimes don’t have the best listening skills (sorry), but I do pride myself on being able to zone in on what you are telling me during these moments and get to the root issue and try to make things better. This has been something I’ve always been good at but unfortunately I have been with someone who is the polar opposite…but now I have met you, and you are an amazing listener and you do everything that you can to understand my perspective. We are set up for a productive and successful marriage because of this, I truly believe that.
The other thing that I appreciate is how you don’t discredit how I feel. Yesterday, you were perfectly within your right to tell me I was being stupid or unreasonable about not believing that you fully trust me, but you made a point to reassure me without just speaking meaninglessly to make me feel better. I will always do this for you too because validating your opinion and making you feel secure is the most important thing to me.
Although most of our life together will be filled with joy, it is refreshing to know that we will come out of any hard times feeling closer and more in love. You are the best human in every way, Christine. I love you unconditionally
22nd June
Your happiness is so important to me and I am sorry that you need to go through everything right now which takes your happiness away. I can’t wait for a time when your new routine is set up and in full swing and I can come to visit and provide nothing but love and enjoyment to you. I already know some small things that make you happy, like coffee in the morning, music on while you get ready etc., but there is so much more that I can’t wait to learn about your routine. I am so convinced that we are 100% compatible and we will build a life where we love each other through acts of service and making each other’s life fulfilled.
We also should try to find some new experiences that we have as fully ours. Both coming from marriages/long term relationships, we will be so used to what that other person likes and will have adapted to this, so I want to find some new things that we have experienced for the first time together. I’m not sure what this could be yet but the idea of having things, places or experiences unique to us makes me so excited.
Things are so fucking difficult right now but I never lose sight of the end goal of us being together. I look at the NY photos of us together every day. I read back our messages every day. I even think about you when sexual tension gets too much and I need to do something about it…You are on my mind so much and it just goes to show how amazing and perfect you are in my eyes. Thank you for everything and for sticking by me through all of this. You’re my dream woman and always will be.
20th June
Been thinking a lot about you wanting peace. That really resonated with me because I want that too. I am the least petty or twisted person to be with. I don’t find problems to bring up when I’m bored. I don’t cast up old arguments or times when you did something wrong just to have an argument. And I definitely don’t want to make you feel guilty, embarrassed or awkward about any aspect of your past.
I really do love you for you. I hate that this situation is taking some of your spark away because your unique character has always been so noticeable and attractive to me. I can’t wait for this all to be over and for us to be back to ourselves fully, with the added benefit of being 100% happy in our relationship. I know that it’ll create the best possible environment for Collins and our future kids to grow up around. I can’t wait to be a role model alongside you.
I will be thinking of you all weekend, Christine. I do that anyway but even more so when I know you’re hurting over there. We’ll get through this and be together with all of this behind us. I love you so fucking much.
19th June
Since I’m editing this in the airport heading to Belgium, I can’t help but dream about our holidays together in the future. Your love for travel and exploring the world is a major reason as to why I’m so in love with you. I love that we will get the chance to show each other our favourite places whilst also visiting new places for the first time.
Japan is of course at the top of our list. We should try to do some traditional things there like visit the Japanese castles and eat authentic sushi. I’d also like to see some of the more peaceful parts of the country so we can spend a few days outside of the major cities.
After that, I’d love to do a safari in Africa. Maybe Kenya or Botswana. The idea of waking up in an amazing hotel and looking out over animals and wildlife is so exciting to me, and of course going out on a car to see lions, giraffes etc. Hopefully this is your kinda thing too.
My third suggestion would be Australia and New Zealand. Even though I have been before I didn’t get a chance to see much, so I’d like to go back and see the beaches, the Great Barrier Reef, maybe even swim with sharks or something?
Let me know where else you’d like to visit and we can add them to the list. We have a lot of life in front of us and I’m so keen to make sure we see everything we dream of, and take our kids there too. They’re going to be soooo well travelled.
I am constantly excited about life with you, Christine. It can’t come quick enough. Sei il mio mondo.
18th June
Congratulations on securing the apartment!! I’m so happy that you have found somewhere that you can call home for a while, and even welcome me to stay when I can. We will have our own little space without any interruptions, distance or complications in the way. When we get to that point we will be over the worst of everything and can plan our lives together even more.
There is so much that excites me about your apartment and what we will do on a regular basis…I can’t wait to put up some pictures of us, of Collins, of your family, and anything else that will make it your home. I can’t wait to see your style and how you decorate. I can’t wait to help out with keeping the place clean and tidy, with cooking (especially outside), with doing the grocery shopping. I can’t wait to go to the gym in the morning together and start our day off in the right way. I can’t wait to chat throughout the day to hear about how work is going and deciding on our plans for the evening and weekend - and then spending those evenings and weekends together either ourselves, with Collins, with your friends or family if they visit.
I feel so fortunate to be a part of your life and go through this milestone together. I promise to love and care for you every day and to never take it for granted.
17th June
I promise that my lack of updates here don’t reflect on my love for you or how I feel. I am going through the toughest time of my life as you know, and it is even tougher knowing that you’ll have come to the site and been disappointed to see no update. I can onoy apologise!
I desperately long to go back to New York. I think that is a big reason why I’m so down right now, because in the space of a month I went from the happiest I have ever been to the most stressed and upset. I have never laughed and smiled so much in the space of 3 days. Our dinner on the Monday night was incredible, for example - sat at the bar, ordering good food, drinking a bottle of wine and being completely immersed in our time with each other. At that moment, anyone else’s feelings meant nothing. It didn’t matter how much money was in my bank account. It didn’t matter what else was happening this summer. All that mattered was you. That’s how I wish life always was.
We will get back to that point. I really hope that Milan can bring that for us and that we have everything sorted and tied up by then. Thank you for your commitment and dedication to me on a daily basis, even when I’m struggling to see through it. You are the best, and I love you more than you know.
14th June
Sorry about the busy day and no post yesterday. I sincerely hope that you realise I am thinking about you just as much, if not more.
I hate that we aren’t already living together and I know that you do too. Most of all, I hate that I’m giving any time, energy and presence to Robyn when I should be giving it all to you. Today, I want to tell you about the conversation I had one on one with my sister today.
I mentioned about Robyn and I’s problems on Wednesday but to be honest I didn’t emphasise it enough. Today/yesterday, we spent 2 hours alone together after my brother left speaking about how I am feeling, what I want and how much she supports me. I told here that Robyn isn’t my person, and she agreed…even she sees that. She has never been close to Robyn and here confirming that made me so sad. What made it worse is that we realised we aren’t close enough, so we’re gonna speak every day now without fail.
She has offered me a room in their apartment in August, and I’m gonna take her up on it. I’ll work from there until I can come to Texas to see you. I finally have a plan which involves being with you.
You and Rachael will get on well. Be genuine, caring and your general self and she’ll be like your second sister.
I love you so fucking much…
12th June
Our chat yesterday about marriage is a really important one which I’m glad we are on the same page about.
I sometimes day dream about having a big wedding with you, where I see you for the first time in a stunning dress and we get to throw a big event with all of our friends and family there. I think that this would be incredibly special, but I think we both realise that our first experiences of doing that haven’t turned out well and that we shouldn’t rush into that. When I think about how things will go for us, I really want to make you feel like my bride some day because it’s a symbol of how much I love you and commit to caring for you. But as I said yesterday I think we should do it in a more intimate way first to be able to create an official bond, then renew our vows and make a big deal about our marriage in later years.
Personally I would love to do the big ceremony in Italy. By that time we’ll have spent years building a family and life together in the US, we’ll have saved money and gotten into a position where we can plan a big event, then we can organise and put on our dream wedding. I 100% want this in life with you and want to give you everything that you could ask for from a wedding with me.
I love you, Christine. We are getting through this day by day.
11th June
Today’s update will be short and sweet whilst I’m travelling, as I still need to make sure you know I’m thinking of you.
You photoshopping your wedding ring reminded me of New York and pretending that we were married. I have never felt so proud and confident in those situations. Of course, a big reason is that anyone who hears it is going to look at you, see how beautiful you are and give me credit for managing to call you my wife…but also it comes down to the 100% security I feel knowing that you are kind, respectful and well-mannered. I have no concerns at all about introducing you to my friends or family, as I know that they will instantly see how much of a genuine person you are. This is such a huge benefit and testament to your character.
As I always tell you, I love everything about you. Unconditionally. Without doubts.
10th June
I have been thinking a lot this morning about the next few years, particularly what it will be like to meet all of your friends and family, and vice versa. I really appreciated yesterday how excited you were about visiting Scotland and you have clearly been dreaming and fantasising about it as much as I have.
I’m guessing that your first time in Scotland might actually be for my sister’s wedding in August next year. There is a chance that you’ll go sooner but I know we’ll have a busy year. The good thing is that you’ll be able to meet everyone at once and spend time with them to get to know them. It will be a big wedding but mostly on the side of my sister’s fiancee’ David as he has a huge family. We’ll be sure to plan a few days around it too so that I can take you to my tiny hometown, my grandparents place, Glasgow, Edinburgh and maybe some other typical spots. I already know that you’ll love how friendly people are and the small Scottish details everywhere. You can also meet some of my friends during that trip, which almost always entails bar hopping and drinking lots, which I know you enjoy. I already know that you’ll fit in so well, get on amazingly with everyone and show them all why I made the decision to be with you.
I’d love for you to tell me what to expect when I visit Boston so that I can visualise it some more. I’ll be partly nervous, partly excited, but one thing I can promise is that I will present myself well and make sure they know straightaway that I care deeply about you and am the right person to take care of you, Collins and our future kids. That is super important to me and I know that it is to you too.
9th June
I know that this past weekend was a tricky one for us, but I promise that looking at our future life together I am always more excited and optimistic than I am challenged by the obstacles ahead. The reason that this is the case is that I see us as so compatible with each other. This was proven in Italy/Switzerland and NY, and it builds each day that passes.
When I look at what our 2026 will look like, we will have gotten over the difficult conversations by then. I’ll have moved out and will have told my family about my plans to move to the US, and you will have told everyone about me and hopefully even introduced me to some people. We have 5 or 6 weddings scheduled for the year which gives us such a good chance to build holidays or trips around to spend quality time with each other and have fun. For the weddings that you’ll attend with me for my family, you’ll get your first opportunity to visit Scotland to meet my family, see my home country and become a part of the extended family that will support you moving forward. The fact that you are excited about that and are so keen to learn more about what has formed the man that you love is such a big sign that I have found the right person. I can’t wait to give you that and make sure that you have so much fun in the process.
There isn’t a single moment that has passed for the past months where I question your suitability as my person. Don’t let anything convince you otherwise. I will show you this day by day until we are fully together, emotionally and physically. I love you so much, Christine.
8th June
I love sharing new experiences with you like the helicopter ride, but I also enjoy trying things that you already love. The Allagash beer was a good example of that. So was the pizza in NY. Such unexpected, random things for you to love and be excited to share with me, but it is the sort of thing that creates core memories. Thank you for bringing me into your life and sharing the things that you love with me.
What is important to me is that you never change or hide who you are and what you like. I know that you’ve said a few times that you feel comfortable enough to be your true self, and I want to be clear that I love everything about you, even the things that you don’t notice or don’t consider. Meeting you and being with you has given me the opportunity to be myself for the first time ever…even now, I hide things or suppress what I think about situations to please those around me, but never with you. You make me so complete and so accepted. Thank you.
I can’t wait to make more memories with you where you share something that you love with me. I love you, always
6th June
Yesterday’s post has got me thinking about our future life together a lot. How many kids we will have, how we will raise them, what holidays will be like, which family members will we visit in each part of the world... I think we have the chance to create something truly special with our family because we’re bringing together two very different worlds whilst influencing it with unique experiences that we have had growing up differently.
Just think about how well travelled and exposed to new experiences our children will be! By the time they reach their teenage years they will have visited so many parts of the US, Europe and maybe even South America if my parents are still there. If everything goes to plan then they may have even travelled more than that and learned so much about the world. We’ll be setting them up for success and for them to have all the opportunities that they could need in life, and I think that’s what the purpose of life is for me.
I really believe that our love for travel is something that has drawn us together. If I were exactly the same in terms of looks and the way I spoke but had never moved away from my hometown, I don’t think that you’d be in love with me. I think that the experiences that I have picked up throughout my life of living in 5 different countries and being forced to be outgoing and communicative has given me my personality which you have fallen in love with (even if you find me a bit too flirty). And I believe the opposite is true and that your diverse upbringing, your life in different parts of the country and where you have travelled have all added to your personality, which I could not have any more love for. I am truly obsessed with you.
Let’s vow to never become stagnant or boring. I don’t want a life of constant chaos and we need normality from day to day (like I described yesterday), but let’s always have a trip planned or a goal to meet. We will be such a power couple and I believe that we can achieve everything together.
5th June
I had the idea to switch things up a bit. Rather than write about a memory, I want to write about the future, as we need to keep that in mind too throughout all of this.
We both realise that New York was a fantasy and it isn’t what normal, day-to-day life will be like when we are together. But in some ways I am looking forward to those normal days even more, because that’s where we have the chance to grow even closer. I can imagine in five years from now we will be living together in Texas, Boston or wherever is best, and we’ll have a normal Thursday similar to this:
I will wake up first and go to the gym so that I can make you coffee to bring to you in bed (this is a requirement - I need to be the first one up and you need caffeine)
Mornings will consist of you making the kids breakfast and I can get them ready for school or whatever they have on that day
When the kids are at school or settled into doing what they have planned for the day, we will both be working (either at home together, at an office or whatever our work requires at that time). If we are at home then we will make sure to have lunch together and chat about how our day is going. It sounds like it will usually be leftovers since you cook so much, but I’ll make it if not
We’ll work in the afternoon and make sure the kids are picked up and get back home. They can play in the house or go to any activities they’re into (I’m so excited to get my kids involved in sports or clubs so we should discuss this)
We can take turns cooking dinner as you can’t do it every night and need a break. Plus, I am a good cook so you’ll be taken care of
Once we get the kids to bed, we’ll make sure the house is clean and tidy (yes, I’ll do that too) before we relax with wine and a TV show that we’re into. We will spend quality time together and make sure that the other person feels heard, loved and cared for.
We’ll end the day by getting into bed and getting a final ‘workout’ in before we sleep.
Excited to hear what I have missed out or what you think we should do too. I can’t explain how much of a dream this is for me. I love you and our future life.
4th June
I really enjoyed making you smile, laugh and be happy yesterday. It gives me so much joy and it is honestly my favourite thing to do.
It made me think of when we laughed together the most, and I’m struggling to pinpoint just one moment as the majority of the New York trip was full of laughter. It tends to be when we wind each other up that we find the most fun, like when you make fun of me giving serial killer vibes or when I make fun of you needing the room to be minus 1000 degrees with whale noises to sleep.
We have very similar humour and I can’t wait for that to come out more as we find TV shows and movies to watch together, or can freely share Instagram reels or funny things we see online. There won’t be a single day that passes where I don’t try to make you smile/laugh as it’s in my nature, and no matter what we go through I am sure that we can take a step back and find joy in being with each other.
Looking forward to seeing your smile today on FaceTime. Especially now that your swelling on your lips has gone down and you don’t look like Lola from Shark Tale anymore.
Il mio cuore e’ sempre tuo.
3rd June
Ciao amore.
I still can’t get over the effort you went to in order to make my birthday special. As you know, I am not a birthday person. I always downplay it and don’t make a big deal or even tell anyone, so the fact that you insisted on surprising me even a month later when you saw me was so thoughtful.
The helicopter experience was one of those times where you actually felt like you were mine. I referred to you as my wife, we got our first photo together and it felt so right how you hugged me the whole time. It was all so fast and chaotic but I was able to immerse myself into that experience and truly enjoy my time with you, which has always been really hard for me to do. It is insane how we have only known each other for months as it feels like I have shared so much more life with you than that, mainly because of how compatible we are together.
I can’t wait to spoil you and make you feel just as special in the future. You deserve the world and I will give you all of the love and attention that I can to keep you smiling and happy. You will be my wife at some point, I already know that. And I can’t fucking wait.
2nd June
Today I’m bringing our memory back to Como, so that I can share my perspective of the moment that you say changed everything for you.
I left you at the Hilton at around 2am after battling so much to keep our contact to kissing only…it was so hard and I know that you felt it too. I got back home and immediately set an alarm for 3 hours later to wake up and come say goodbye to you at the train station. Sleep really doesn’t mean anything to me when I get to see you, because I know that being awake is far better than any dream could be. I had a weird mix of excitement and sadness when I came to meet you, as I didn’t know when I would next see you or if you’d still be interested in me.
I know a lot of people here in Como, yet I was willing to risk being seen by everyone to hold you, kiss you and say goodbye. I know that I was still on edge, but there were moments where you looked into my eyes with your arms around me and we were immediately in a world of our own. Kissing you (even in public) is truly incredible, and I am grateful every time that I get to share such an intimate thing with someone like you.
I think deep down I knew that we would be fine after that day and that I’d see you again soon, but I didn’t let myself get my hopes up. We have done soooo well getting to the place that we are today and I know that we will make this work from a long distance too.
Sei veramente un sogno per me. Grazie di tutto, cara.
1st June
I have been thinking a lot this weekend about being intimate with you. You really have brought out a side of me that I didn’t think existed. I feel something when I touch you that I have never felt before, whether it is a kiss, a hug, you holding my arm or (obviously) sex.
Kissing you in the middle of the day on a train in Switzerland was the most out of character moment of my life, but it still feels so right. We had only had our first kiss one day before but it felt like we had been together forever, with my hand on your thigh to feel even closer to you. I could have kissed you that whole evening if we could and honestly could have ripped your clothes off right there.
Please never stop showing me love because that’s what I plan to do with you. You will be constantly reminded of what you mean to me, either through my words or my actions when we are together.
Ti amo.
31st May
This memory was all about seeing you at the airport. How nervous I was, how much I anticipated the moment and how everything went out of the window when I saw you. You make me smile so naturally, more than anyone ever has before.
I lost the full write up of this (sorry), but I am sure that looking back on the moment that we saw each other again will still bring you joy. I love you.
30th May
You may not even remember this but the first time I felt a connection with you was on night two at SKO. I remember locking eyes with you in the hallway at the monastery and sensing there was something there. You looked stunning that evening…I tried to speak to you at every possible opportunity to get you to like me, which paid off in the end when you started calling me your work boyfriend at the bar.
If you had asked me at that moment to run away with you I would. I have been infatuated by your entire presence ever since. You are incredible.